Wednesday, May 9, 2012

How 'Bout We Ban Stupidity Instead?

It has come to my attention that there are people in this country who want to ban everything. A few new topics I read about this week are parents who want the ice cream man (an American institution) banned from the neighborhood and schools banning bake sales. This comes on the heels of learning that many schools already have a ban on children bringing peanut butter sandwiches (with or without jelly) in for lunch. My daughter will be starting kindergarten this coming September and I fear for all the fights I'm going to get into with dumb parents.

First let us discuss the ice cream man. What in the hell is the problem with the ice cream man? What is so wrong about a person driving a truck filled with delicious frozen treats and delivering them to your front yard on the hottest of days? What is the issue with kids scooping together some change and getting themselves some Bazooka gum or Pop Rocks to share with their friends while they play outside?

Oh wait. That is part of the problem. Kids don't play outside and stop the ice cream man anymore. They hear the tell-tale tune from inside the house and they pause their video game, ask mom or dad for money and waddle outside. Are we banning the ice cream man for obesity purposes or because parents can't be bothered saying "No" to their bratty over-indulged offspring? Is it both?

This is a great lead-in for the bake sale debate. The same reasons stand here. One reason that schools are banning bake sales is because of the obesity epidemic. I'm sorry, but you should be teaching my kid how to do mathematic equations and write book reports. I should be teaching them what and what not to eat. Isn't that the point of parenting? Teach you kids life's basics before you send them off to school? The school cafeteria food is pretty devoid of any nutritional value as it is. Why don't you fix that before you ban cupcakes (Pizza is a vegetable, y'know). Just because some parents suck at teaching their kids proper eating habits, my kid, who delights in a piece of cake or a cookie now and then should suffer? My kid is of average weight and height. I make dinner for her. Once every (maybe) 3 months she'll have 2 tacos from Taco Bell for dinner or a McDonald's Happy Meal for lunch if there is a particularly awesome toy in the box. When we go to a party I let her have two pieces of cake. She doesn't like soda, but if she did I'd let her drink it at a get-together. You know why? Because I don't keep any of that crap in my house. Ever. Unless it's Girl Scout Cookie time you will not find sweets in my house. You will not find chips or carbonated drinks either. So when it's a special occasion she can have what she wants. She also plays and runs around and goes to dance class. That is why she is of average weight for her age. She doesn't sit on her ass. She also has chores. She has to clean her room and put away her art supplies. She is a happy, well adjusted, responsible and, most importantly, HEALTHY five-year-old. Which is a lot more than I can say for the majority of children her age.

Oh, it wasn't because of other parents lack of control over what their kids ingest? That wasn't the point of banning the bake sale? Oh it's because little Jimmy has a peanut allergy and it's not fair for him to be left out? Screw Jimmy. Everyone's wimpy kid has a confounded food allergy these days. Wheat, eggs, dairy, gluten, nuts, yellow #5, etc. What CAN your immunally challenged kid eat? Is he going to screen the air for particles? Where did all these come from? No one had food allergies when I was growing up! No one! One kid was allergic to bee stings. A few classmates had pollen or ragweed allergies. But not food. Probably because we didn't have crazy vegan parents who ate organic fruits and vegetables and drink wheat grass shakes. My mom, my aunts, my grandmother, me, we all ate normal food and none of us have kids with strange allergies.

If your kids is THAT allergic to a food he better learn to be left out anytime there is food of questionable origins present or learn to use an epi-pen. It's going to be like that for the rest of his life.  Why should everyone else suffer because you didn't expose your kid to certain foods in utero? If this is the mentality, I want to see ice cream, milk and all dairy based food banned. Some kids are lactose intolerant. Why should YOUR kid be allowed to have ice cream at school if MINE can't. Also we can get rid of all wheat and gluten based items off the menu. Throw out anything with eggs. Artificial flavoring, high fructose corn syrup or dye? Chuck it. Sound ridiculous yet?

Here are some arguments defending the ban (in italic) and my comments after:

Lastly, try telling a 5 year old that they can't buy at the bake sale because of allergies or how you feel and see what the reaction is. The only way to do it is eliminate the bake sale. Some kids can die if they accidentally ingest peanuts. My nieces can't even bring peanut butter and jelly to school for lunch for that very reason.

You SHOULD tell a 5 year old no when you don't want them to have something. They can't always get what they want. If they don't like your answer too bad. My kid is 5 and when we see a bake sale or hear an ice cream truck 9 times out of 10 I say no. That is what makes that 10th time so special.

By taking away all things that children shouldn't eat you take away the chance for them to learn how to make good decisions for themselves which in the end will do them the biggest disservice. No wonder the younger generation is chock full of kids who can't do anything for themselves.

As for the cleanliness of some one's kitchen, chances are even if their kitchen isn't germ free and spotless, the food was cooked therefore germs were killed. You have to eat a pound of dirt before you die.
First of all, I tell my nieces no all the time and so do their parents. And they can handle being told no TYVM. But it is hard to explain to a 5 year old the severity of what can happen to them due to food allergies. That is what I said.

Please, who here is not guilty of doing something that their parents told them not to do. But for a young child with food allergies this can be a deadly decision.

I don't think you are giving a 5-year-old enough credit. And not to say "well stinks for the kids with allergies" but if that is your reason and defense for banning bake sales it's pretty weak. If a 5-year-old has an allergy that could be fatal then they NEED to know what can happen. If I told my kid "You can not eat such and such food b/c you have a severe allergy and you could die if you eat it." I can tell you she won't eat it. Maybe your argument works for a 2-year-old. And again not to sound terribly insensitive to kids with severe food allergies, but they are going to be disappointed for the rest of their life whenever there are foods of unknown origins involved. They may as well learn young how to say no.

Let's ban all flowers outdoors b/c some people have a severe allergy to pollen. No more gardens for anyone.

Maybe we should start another prohibition since some recovering alcoholics get physically ill from the smell of it.

Why don't we get rid of organized sports, even professional ones, some people are unable to participate due to a handicap, injury, clumsiness or they just aren't athletic.

Where does it end? I don't mean to sound like a complete a-hole, but this is why we have a generation of entitled kids on our hands. Everyone doesn't need to be involved all the time. If no one ever learns to deal with disappointment they will lead a life of disappointment.

Welcome to the "Everyone Gets an Effing Trophy" mentality. This is where it comes from. Just wait until this idiotic generation is in charge. We're all done for. They are going to be stupid, lazy, fat and entitled. Lucky us.

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