Thanks Blake Shelton

Thanks for being hot, talented, funny and an anti-supporter of PETA (they are dipshits!).

Also, thank you for bringing up that a (large) drunk woman fell across your lap on the airplane. You gave me a flashback of a trip I took when I was 17.

My BFF moved to Florida when we were 13. Every year after that my parents would put me on a plane and send me down to stay with her for like 2 weeks. I thought they were being nice, but thinking about it now, I think it was more for them than for me and Kristin.

One x-mas vacation when I was 17, or maybe I was 16, I could have been 18, whatever. Anycrap, I had gotten bumped off my flight and rescheduled for the next one. Mind you, my parents didn't stay at the airport with me, they would drop me off at the outside baggage claim and be on their merry-me-less way. So the airline gave me quite a few coupons for free alcoholic drinks or snacks for all the inconvenience. So I finally get on the plane in the last row, you know, the loudest spot on the whole aircraft, the ass of the plane. I'm sitting next to this guy, whose name is escaping me at the moment, he's like 35ish. He also had a bunch of coupons. I was not old enough by a long shot to order my own drinks. So this guy (let's call him Sam for the hell of it), Sam thought it would be a good idea for him to order my drinks for me so they wouldn't card me. It went like this: Sam says, "I'll have a gin & tonic, and my wife here will have a rum and coke." I was in heaven and seriously thought about telling Kristin to hit the road, for Sam was my new BFF.

Well, if you know me, you realize that those coupons ran out before we were over the Carolinas. Sam's did too. Also if you know me, I sometimes get a little boisterous when I drink (just a little). Apparently Sam does too. Boisterous and fricking hysterical! Well, we thought we were anyway. A few other passengers offered their drink coupons to us if we would just shut up. I guess they don't get our humor. So needless to say we went through those coupons like they would explode if we didn't hurry up and use them.

Sam and I had a wonderful drunk time on the ride down to West Palm Beach and in a way I was so happy that I had gotten bumped off that first flight. I stumbled into the airport where Kristin and her boyfriend were waiting for me, I said goodbye to Sam and then I puked.

Oh Sam, I wish I could remember your real name. You were such a great pretend husband. I hope someday I marry someone just like you.


November 2, 2009: I remembered his name when I was trying to go to sleep last night! Well, I'm like 90% sure. It's Ryan! Or Tom. I'm pretty sure it's Ryan.